I haven't blogged in awhile.
Normally, I blame this on laziness and a lack of good topics at the time. I have a hard time coming up with stuff to write about. I am not one of those lucky people that can pull brilliance from thin air, despite how much I wish I was. But this time, I have a new reason.
This pregnancy makes me hate everything.
When I was pregnant with Micah, it was the "honeymoon" pregnancy. I wasn't too sick, I wasn't too tired, and I was HAPPY. I had the glow. I loved every second, every new trimester was a bit of glee, and I was counting down the days to meet my new baby.
With this pregnancy, I am SO sick. Miserable, except when I am asleep. I am tired, literally all the time, but if I sleep too much, it makes me incredibly groggy and lethargic for the rest of the day. I am so happy that my first trimesters end is in sight, so this will end. I am not counting down the days until I meet the baby (well, yes, I am - I can't wait for a new bundle to love), but instead I am counting down the days until this agony is OVER.
I have no energy whatsoever. When I get home in the evenings, I park on the couch in a position that makes my stomach feel less like exploding, and stay there until bedtime. I pass out instantly. I can't walk any distance without constant gagging. I can't brush my teeth properly without throwing up. I have taken a mere handful of photos in the last five weeks. I have yet to sew a single thing for this baby even though that was something I was super excited about when I first got my positive test. I haven't even bought any fabric, which is a sure sign I am uncomfortable.
My mouth tastes like something died in it from the reflux, which in turn makes all food taste weird. Muted or disgusting, no matter what it is. The only thing that actually tastes like it's supposed to is pickles. They are my very best friend. Water is revolting. Soda is acid. I found a few things that would work to hold the nausea at bay, and in a few days, they would stop working. I have tried just about everything available - I even bought a pair of Sea Bands, and they work miracles when they are positioned correctly, but they are so easy to put on wrong that I often find myself miserable with sore wrists. I have missed three days of work in one month from this, and my FMLA is not going to kick in until my first appointment, which they didn't schedule until February 12th. So I have to just continue to do my best to suck it up and thankfully my boss is kind. I wish I could sleep through the next few weeks.
That said...this pregnancy is exciting in a lot of ways. It will be our last baby so I have gotten a few patterns for fun baby things, like newborn moccasins. My mom is crocheting the most adorable pair of baby Converse ever. I am planning on sewing a gender-specific slipcover for the swing and bouncer once we find out what we are having in April. (I turn 20 weeks the day before Micah's birthday, so I am hoping to schedule it for that day so we can take him. He's very excited. HE WILL BE FOUR OMG.) I am using my bonus to buy all the baby seats so we can get exactly what we want. Micah even used a bit of his Xmas money to buy the baby a pair of elephant-print gowns. My mom has nicknamed this baby Start and now everyone is doing it. My family can hardly stand it they are so excited. There's a bit of silver lining in everything, I suppose.
I am still looking forward to the end of this first trimester.