It's been quite a while.
You might recall that right before my sudden sabbatical that I was one sick mama. That's putting it mildly. I haven't sewn since December, and the only reason I did then was because my morning sickness had not yet made an appearance. I was kind of pleased at the time, thinking I might get lucky and escape it altogether. That was most definitely not the case. Calling it morning sickness is the understatement of a lifetime - I couldn't make it more than two days without a surprise during my morning ablutions, usually teeth brushing, though it occasionally ruined my morning shower as well. Even now that it is almost gone (I still have my moments, but I function significantly better), I still cringe going into any bathroom because I have made such bad connections with the space.
Now that I am feeling so much better, I have finally started to move into the "nesting" phase. Buying baby things is definitely on my mind and I have started to enjoy watching and reading birth stories, like I did with Micah. I recall watching A Baby Story almost every morning before work when I was pregnant with him, filled with the excitement of new life and a new journey, and absolutely no fear. My pregnancy with him was textbook - mild morning sickness, no pain, no Braxton Hicks. I was happy, glowing and filled with joy. I made the incorrect assumption that my labor and delivery would be no different, and so I didn't even make a birth plan. I told my midwife that I just wanted to go with the flow rather than try to stick to a plan that would likely get blown to pieces anyway, and she told me that was an excellent way to look at it. It gave me peace and would allow room for decisions that would make labor easier. If you are a follower, then you know exactly how that went. I may as well have had a plan!
This time around, I still do not have a birth plan, but I do have a choice that will dictate my entire labor and delivery experience - I am having a scheduled c-section.
If you spend any time at all on birth forums or websites dedicated to maternity and labor, you will have likely heard some of the statistics about cesarean deliveries. Just this morning, I read an article encouraging mothers to take a rest period after they have a baby, rather than feel compelled to bounce right back like you hear so many celebrities do. Many cultures have a mandatory convalescence spanning anywhere from 20 to 60 days, yet for some reason here in America, we are convinced that we should be back to our "normal" lives within days of giving birth. If you have ever had a baby, you know how unrealistic that is, and unfortunately you have to experience it to fully understand what your own personal limitations are. Every body is different, and you can take me as a prime example - every midwife tells you that when you go into your labor, your body will know what to do. For me, that was not the case. My body understood contractions, but nothing else. I never dilated, and my body rejected all pain relief options. I am certainly not the norm, but it needs to be understood that labor will never be what you imagine it to be, and women need to understand that sometimes things are out of their control.
That said, the amount of websites out there with statistics on cesarean deliveries NEVER point out that some of those deliveries are not by choice. They like to make it sensationalist because that sells, and many reading will assume that there are at least 33% of women out there choosing a c-section just for the sake of convenience. While I do know that some women do this - though I can't imagine why anyone would think major abdominal surgery is easier than pushing out a baby, considering healing times alone - a big chunk of that number is also people like me. Women that cannot have a baby naturally despite their best efforts. Women that have pre-eclampsia, women that push for hours but have hips too narrow, women that never dilate, women that have severe anemia. I know the numbers are climbing every year, and unfortunately, that is also because many hospitals try to coerce women into repeat c-sections to avoid the possibility of unproductive labor or complications from a previous surgery. While I get the concern, taking away a woman's rights to make money is beyond ridiculous.
If I had any pull in the blogging community, I would use it right now. I would use it to tell women that is ok if your labor and delivery did not go as planned, that it's alright if you spend your maternity leave resting and bonding with your child rather than cleaning or working out, that it should be rule (and not the exception) that your husband/SO/family help you when you need it without begging. Giving birth and raising a child should be a gift rather than a chore, and if you need to pretend your kitchen sink isn't overflowing to embrace that, then so be it.
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
It was a very merry Christmas!
The year is almost at an end. I still can't believe an entire year has just blown by. How did it go by so fast?
We have had a great year, all things considered. And the month of December was especially nice, with all the family gatherings, special photos and good sales for some preliminary items in Sunshine Stars.I could not have asked for more...well, except one thing.
I made this after finding a version on Pinterest but discovered the shop that made them was now closed. I couldn't track down the owner so I am hoping she doesn't mind that I made this just for my husband.
And yes, it does mean we are expecting baby #2! We are super excited! Just like with my son, we had been talking about it and trying to decide when, and suddenly I'm pregnant. We obviously have no choice in the matter! I wasn't sewing when my son was born so I am really excited to make baby clothes. I am already picturing the footie pajamas and onesies in fun colors. We won't find out what we are having for at least three more months.
When we told my family, I made Micah this shirt and walked him into the room and let them all figure it out. Not everyone got it right away, but my mom read it once and yelled, "You're pregnant?!" She's probably more excited than we are.
Only Child, expiring August 2014.
This year, we got a couple of fun photo shoots in for both us and Micah. I actually won a little photoshoot from the talented Hartsock Photography and Micah got some seriously fantastic Santa photos as a result. I am really hoping they do this every year, because the Santa they chose was amazing (a real beard!) and they got me the photos within minutes. I absolutely loved it.
I'm THREE, Santa!
And just for family photos, I asked around to see if any local photographers wanted to do a trade - I get photos of their family, they get photos of mine. It couldn't have worked out better, because one of them is absolutely fantastic. Micah is even wearing two handmade things by me - his hat and duffle coat.
Our wedding anniversary was also on the 14th, so I made my husband this.
My little fledging attempt at Sunshine Stars also made a whopping 30 sales just in December alone, for hats with ears and scoodies with ears and pockets, as well as simple cotton and lace scarves. To say I was busy would be an understatement!
But I did have time to make Micah some fun Christmas pajamas!
December has been busy, fun, and exceptionally wonderful this year. I can't wait to see what 2014 has in store!
How was your Christmas?
We have had a great year, all things considered. And the month of December was especially nice, with all the family gatherings, special photos and good sales for some preliminary items in Sunshine Stars.I could not have asked for more...well, except one thing.
I made this after finding a version on Pinterest but discovered the shop that made them was now closed. I couldn't track down the owner so I am hoping she doesn't mind that I made this just for my husband.
And yes, it does mean we are expecting baby #2! We are super excited! Just like with my son, we had been talking about it and trying to decide when, and suddenly I'm pregnant. We obviously have no choice in the matter! I wasn't sewing when my son was born so I am really excited to make baby clothes. I am already picturing the footie pajamas and onesies in fun colors. We won't find out what we are having for at least three more months.
When we told my family, I made Micah this shirt and walked him into the room and let them all figure it out. Not everyone got it right away, but my mom read it once and yelled, "You're pregnant?!" She's probably more excited than we are.
Only Child, expiring August 2014.
This year, we got a couple of fun photo shoots in for both us and Micah. I actually won a little photoshoot from the talented Hartsock Photography and Micah got some seriously fantastic Santa photos as a result. I am really hoping they do this every year, because the Santa they chose was amazing (a real beard!) and they got me the photos within minutes. I absolutely loved it.
I'm THREE, Santa!
And just for family photos, I asked around to see if any local photographers wanted to do a trade - I get photos of their family, they get photos of mine. It couldn't have worked out better, because one of them is absolutely fantastic. Micah is even wearing two handmade things by me - his hat and duffle coat.
Our wedding anniversary was also on the 14th, so I made my husband this.
My little fledging attempt at Sunshine Stars also made a whopping 30 sales just in December alone, for hats with ears and scoodies with ears and pockets, as well as simple cotton and lace scarves. To say I was busy would be an understatement!
But I did have time to make Micah some fun Christmas pajamas!
December has been busy, fun, and exceptionally wonderful this year. I can't wait to see what 2014 has in store!
How was your Christmas?
Halloween!
Halloween this year was both awesome and messy...mostly because I am incapable of starting a project far enough in advance that I have proper time to finish it sooner than the day of the event. Arg.
So originally, I wanted all three of us to dress as characters from Assassin's Creed - Micah and Antonio could be different versions of the main character, and I could be the female "love interest" from one of the more recent games. I have never played any version of these, I just knew of the characters and how awesome their get-ups were. I had a pattern already that would work well for mine and I could wing it for the boys. I got Micah's finished and was really proud of it. He wore it to visit my coworkers and the high school my mom works at, and everyone thought he was a pirate instead. Since he has no idea what Assassin's Creed is, that's ok. I was still pleased with the outcome.
I think it really came together!
My husband and I were invited to a Halloween party of epic proportions. He has a friend from high school that is known for his parties because he spares no expense and goes all out. He works in the film industry and so he hadn't had a Halloween gathering since I met my husband eight years ago, so I was really looking forward to my first one. It was worth the time and effort we put into our costumes, too.
And then my husband saw an episode of Mythbusters where they talk zombies and Jamie dresses in this rather impressive zombie-hunter outfit. And so our costumes changed, even though I had spent something like 24 hours on my dress. A little hacking to my hem and forgoing the pretty finished edges and mine worked out.
Then we added details. I found a tutorial to make a duct tape top hat that looked like leather, and using a cheap $1 base hat, I cranked one out for both of us. I spray painted a pair of hiking boots I scored at Savers for $5 to look metallic, then we both took a pair of welding goggles and added a few details and painted them to look brown and black. My husband tore up an old leather jacket that no longer fit him and he hadn't been able to pawn off on anybody via Craigslist. And instant steampunk? Maybe. I have no idea what we are, but we got tons of compliments, so I guess we look put-together!
What did you do for Halloween? Did you dress up?
So originally, I wanted all three of us to dress as characters from Assassin's Creed - Micah and Antonio could be different versions of the main character, and I could be the female "love interest" from one of the more recent games. I have never played any version of these, I just knew of the characters and how awesome their get-ups were. I had a pattern already that would work well for mine and I could wing it for the boys. I got Micah's finished and was really proud of it. He wore it to visit my coworkers and the high school my mom works at, and everyone thought he was a pirate instead. Since he has no idea what Assassin's Creed is, that's ok. I was still pleased with the outcome.
I think it really came together!
My husband and I were invited to a Halloween party of epic proportions. He has a friend from high school that is known for his parties because he spares no expense and goes all out. He works in the film industry and so he hadn't had a Halloween gathering since I met my husband eight years ago, so I was really looking forward to my first one. It was worth the time and effort we put into our costumes, too.
And then my husband saw an episode of Mythbusters where they talk zombies and Jamie dresses in this rather impressive zombie-hunter outfit. And so our costumes changed, even though I had spent something like 24 hours on my dress. A little hacking to my hem and forgoing the pretty finished edges and mine worked out.
Then we added details. I found a tutorial to make a duct tape top hat that looked like leather, and using a cheap $1 base hat, I cranked one out for both of us. I spray painted a pair of hiking boots I scored at Savers for $5 to look metallic, then we both took a pair of welding goggles and added a few details and painted them to look brown and black. My husband tore up an old leather jacket that no longer fit him and he hadn't been able to pawn off on anybody via Craigslist. And instant steampunk? Maybe. I have no idea what we are, but we got tons of compliments, so I guess we look put-together!
What did you do for Halloween? Did you dress up?
The disappointments of being healthy
This is my last week of what Google Image calls the 30 Day Challenge.
I am one day behind because I went into it full-tilt, and my thigh muscles were in such agony for two days that I could barely walk, much less squat. I caught up by doubling up my workouts for a bit at the beginning, and again in Week 3 because I was so down on myself I missed a day.
These sort of workouts make it seem so easy. They have the obligatory photo of a woman with crazy cut abs as the background, they build up "only" a few reps a day, and when you first start, you feel awesome. I'm productive! I'm burning fat! I'm building muscle!
And some of that is true. I startled myself in Week 2 when I crossed my arms and felt my right inner bicep and it was hard as rock, even though I was at rest watching tv with my husband. I was so excited, I made everyone I saw feel it for two days. I made muscle!
Here's the thing though. The entire ordeal is almost not worth it when you see what it is costing you in groceries, in time, and in ego when you realize that all your hard work has done absolutely nothing on the scale or in your clothes. I went from spending only $50 or so on groceries for a week to spending over $100. I was doing my absolute best to "eat clean" and not eat anything processed or packaged. That's great in theory, not very realistic in practice. I haven't had much of a problem actually doing it - I love veggies, chicken and fruit, so it isn't like I'm eating things I hate - but it's so expensive that each week I find myself doing it less and less. I just can't afford it, and that makes me angry. Packaged junk is cheap, and for someone with bills and a child (someone with the average life), it is just not feasible. Not to mention it makes eating with my family an absolute chore and nearly impossible.
I give myself one "treat" meal a week when I can have french fries, Dr Pepper, and a burger. My mom calls them Hamburger Wednesdays and we started doing them years ago. It's her meal to break up her stressful work week. The rest of the week isn't nearly as bad for her and french fries are her one vice, much like me. One meal will not set anyone back for life so I don't worry about it, and it hasn't stressed me out at all. Even the most dedicated body builder has the occasional pizza (The Rock even posts about it on instagram with a certain level of glee).
I am in Week 4 of my 30 day challenge. I've built endurance so that I can do a ton of squats and barely break a sweat (I'm doing 200 tonight). Crunches, pushups and lunges, I haven't built as much endurance for, but I am doing them and getting better every day. My calorie tracker I got for free through work tells me I burn at least 100 calories each time, though that was disappointing at first because I expected it to be more. I have a great support system that really helps me keep going - my husband cheers me on as I nearly kill myself doing crunches, a friend on Facebook sends me inspirational photos and quotes all the time, and I follow a few people on Instagram that make fantastic cheerleaders. I have all the things I need, and I'm working hard.
But guess what? I have lost only a total of two pounds. My clothes fit almost exactly the same as they did when I started. I see only the most minute differences in my body, and in odd places - my inner knee, my inner arm, my hips. My belly looks exactly the same. My thighs, identical. I haven't even lost anything in my face, which is usually where you can see weight loss first. And I have been BUSTING MY BUTT, watching other people doing almost exactly the same thing see dramatic results. It's discouraging, it's disappointing, and worst of all, I want to quit. I feel like I'm wasting my time. Everyone says, "eat better, exercise for 15 minutes a day, and you'll see results!" And it's true...for everyone but me, I guess. I actually count every calorie I intake, and never eat more than 1500 a day, which is actually less than most programs tell you to eat.
And nothing. This is why people quit, or give up. I honestly don't know how people lose weight doing things like Weight Watchers, and not working out. Or paleo. Or this stupid "eating clean" bull. I'VE BEEN DOING IT. And NOTHING.
At this point, my frustration knows no bounds. I want to quit. I'm tired, I'm sore, and I'm so disappointed that thinking about it makes me tear up. It's so unfair to work so hard for nothing.
But I won't. Micah gets bigger and faster every day, and when I break into a disgusting, heavy sweat just carrying him across the house, or fail to catch him when he runs from me, it means I am a failure already. And I can't let this beat me.
But sometimes I want to.
I am one day behind because I went into it full-tilt, and my thigh muscles were in such agony for two days that I could barely walk, much less squat. I caught up by doubling up my workouts for a bit at the beginning, and again in Week 3 because I was so down on myself I missed a day.
These sort of workouts make it seem so easy. They have the obligatory photo of a woman with crazy cut abs as the background, they build up "only" a few reps a day, and when you first start, you feel awesome. I'm productive! I'm burning fat! I'm building muscle!
And some of that is true. I startled myself in Week 2 when I crossed my arms and felt my right inner bicep and it was hard as rock, even though I was at rest watching tv with my husband. I was so excited, I made everyone I saw feel it for two days. I made muscle!
Here's the thing though. The entire ordeal is almost not worth it when you see what it is costing you in groceries, in time, and in ego when you realize that all your hard work has done absolutely nothing on the scale or in your clothes. I went from spending only $50 or so on groceries for a week to spending over $100. I was doing my absolute best to "eat clean" and not eat anything processed or packaged. That's great in theory, not very realistic in practice. I haven't had much of a problem actually doing it - I love veggies, chicken and fruit, so it isn't like I'm eating things I hate - but it's so expensive that each week I find myself doing it less and less. I just can't afford it, and that makes me angry. Packaged junk is cheap, and for someone with bills and a child (someone with the average life), it is just not feasible. Not to mention it makes eating with my family an absolute chore and nearly impossible.
I give myself one "treat" meal a week when I can have french fries, Dr Pepper, and a burger. My mom calls them Hamburger Wednesdays and we started doing them years ago. It's her meal to break up her stressful work week. The rest of the week isn't nearly as bad for her and french fries are her one vice, much like me. One meal will not set anyone back for life so I don't worry about it, and it hasn't stressed me out at all. Even the most dedicated body builder has the occasional pizza (The Rock even posts about it on instagram with a certain level of glee).
I am in Week 4 of my 30 day challenge. I've built endurance so that I can do a ton of squats and barely break a sweat (I'm doing 200 tonight). Crunches, pushups and lunges, I haven't built as much endurance for, but I am doing them and getting better every day. My calorie tracker I got for free through work tells me I burn at least 100 calories each time, though that was disappointing at first because I expected it to be more. I have a great support system that really helps me keep going - my husband cheers me on as I nearly kill myself doing crunches, a friend on Facebook sends me inspirational photos and quotes all the time, and I follow a few people on Instagram that make fantastic cheerleaders. I have all the things I need, and I'm working hard.
But guess what? I have lost only a total of two pounds. My clothes fit almost exactly the same as they did when I started. I see only the most minute differences in my body, and in odd places - my inner knee, my inner arm, my hips. My belly looks exactly the same. My thighs, identical. I haven't even lost anything in my face, which is usually where you can see weight loss first. And I have been BUSTING MY BUTT, watching other people doing almost exactly the same thing see dramatic results. It's discouraging, it's disappointing, and worst of all, I want to quit. I feel like I'm wasting my time. Everyone says, "eat better, exercise for 15 minutes a day, and you'll see results!" And it's true...for everyone but me, I guess. I actually count every calorie I intake, and never eat more than 1500 a day, which is actually less than most programs tell you to eat.
And nothing. This is why people quit, or give up. I honestly don't know how people lose weight doing things like Weight Watchers, and not working out. Or paleo. Or this stupid "eating clean" bull. I'VE BEEN DOING IT. And NOTHING.
At this point, my frustration knows no bounds. I want to quit. I'm tired, I'm sore, and I'm so disappointed that thinking about it makes me tear up. It's so unfair to work so hard for nothing.
But I won't. Micah gets bigger and faster every day, and when I break into a disgusting, heavy sweat just carrying him across the house, or fail to catch him when he runs from me, it means I am a failure already. And I can't let this beat me.
But sometimes I want to.
The mama diet
Starting today, my husband and I are starting a new lifestyle. And no, it isn't the fun kind.
I have a friend that had a baby six months ago, and since then has been on the Paleo diet. Not terribly strict, either, but she lost 95 pounds. She is built very similarly to me, and is the same height as me, so I thought, "Hey, maybe that's what I need to do!" I got really gung-ho about it...until I saw the diet itself. While it isn't full of food I don't like - quite the opposite, in fact - my problem is that I live in the desert. We don't get a ton of fresh fruits and veggies year round here, though we get a decent amount in the summer if you stalk the farmer's markets. Since we are not in harvest weather yet, I had to go frozen, and it was still a really big grocery bill. Painfully big, actually, and all of it was for Micah and me - none for my husband! He's going to be the hardest to feed, for sure. He hates everything that is good for you, except chicken, and he will get rickets if I let him. He likes corn and peas but corn has a ton of carbs.
Oh, the BUTS. But it has carbs, but it has sugar, but it has FLAVOR.
Here's my issue with diets. They all, every last one, cut out the things that I love the most. And I don't eat bad as it is, but I do eat pasta, and I do eat potatoes. Not even that much, but I eat them, and they are my favorite things to eat. It's frustrating that I have to basically deny myself one of life's pleasures just to look good and be healthy. I love veggies and chicken, but I never feel like I have eaten unless there is meat and carbs. So I am constantly cranky because I am hungry! And a cranky mama = an unhappy house. So I am trying to find a balance. I am also eating a lot more often, every three hours or so, so that I won't bottom out and get that hungry feeling. Like today:
6am - Chobani raspberry yogurt (yummy, and it's actually staying with me)
9am - Snap peas, carrots (carbs, arg) and tomatoes
11:30am - Lunch (which is turkey with sweet potatoes and brown rice today)
2:30pm - Something snacky at my parents when I pick up Micah (not sure about this yet)
5:30pm - Dinner with my husband (likely grilled chicken and veggies today)
I heard about the "every three hours" trick from a body-builder friend so I know it works. Plus it keeps me happier, less cranky. I am also doing a circuit at work once an hour to keep myself awake (I tend to get sleepy) and get my heart rate up. Down the stairs on the west side of my building, across to the east side, then up the three flights back to my floor, and across to my desk. Our building is huge, so while that sounds small, it's a good place for my inner sloth to start. And it's rather embarrassing at this stage, how out of breath I get.
We all have to start somewhere! Have you made a lifestyle change recently? How's it going?
I have a friend that had a baby six months ago, and since then has been on the Paleo diet. Not terribly strict, either, but she lost 95 pounds. She is built very similarly to me, and is the same height as me, so I thought, "Hey, maybe that's what I need to do!" I got really gung-ho about it...until I saw the diet itself. While it isn't full of food I don't like - quite the opposite, in fact - my problem is that I live in the desert. We don't get a ton of fresh fruits and veggies year round here, though we get a decent amount in the summer if you stalk the farmer's markets. Since we are not in harvest weather yet, I had to go frozen, and it was still a really big grocery bill. Painfully big, actually, and all of it was for Micah and me - none for my husband! He's going to be the hardest to feed, for sure. He hates everything that is good for you, except chicken, and he will get rickets if I let him. He likes corn and peas but corn has a ton of carbs.
Oh, the BUTS. But it has carbs, but it has sugar, but it has FLAVOR.
Here's my issue with diets. They all, every last one, cut out the things that I love the most. And I don't eat bad as it is, but I do eat pasta, and I do eat potatoes. Not even that much, but I eat them, and they are my favorite things to eat. It's frustrating that I have to basically deny myself one of life's pleasures just to look good and be healthy. I love veggies and chicken, but I never feel like I have eaten unless there is meat and carbs. So I am constantly cranky because I am hungry! And a cranky mama = an unhappy house. So I am trying to find a balance. I am also eating a lot more often, every three hours or so, so that I won't bottom out and get that hungry feeling. Like today:
6am - Chobani raspberry yogurt (yummy, and it's actually staying with me)
9am - Snap peas, carrots (carbs, arg) and tomatoes
11:30am - Lunch (which is turkey with sweet potatoes and brown rice today)
2:30pm - Something snacky at my parents when I pick up Micah (not sure about this yet)
5:30pm - Dinner with my husband (likely grilled chicken and veggies today)
I heard about the "every three hours" trick from a body-builder friend so I know it works. Plus it keeps me happier, less cranky. I am also doing a circuit at work once an hour to keep myself awake (I tend to get sleepy) and get my heart rate up. Down the stairs on the west side of my building, across to the east side, then up the three flights back to my floor, and across to my desk. Our building is huge, so while that sounds small, it's a good place for my inner sloth to start. And it's rather embarrassing at this stage, how out of breath I get.
We all have to start somewhere! Have you made a lifestyle change recently? How's it going?
The little things matter the most.
This morning, I read a heartfelt post on A Day in Motherhood. As I was reading, I realized...I was doing the exact same thing, without even noticing it.
After I initially heard about the tragedy in Newtown, I had to remove myself from it. I shut off the news, changed channels when it was mentioned, and avoided scrolling through my Facebook feed because the faces of those innocent babies were everywhere. I understand why the world is talking about it - it's a senseless tragedy that every parent can relate to, because we are able to put ourselves in the shoes of those mothers and fathers that are forced to bury their child far too early. It breaks our hearts and we cry along with them, feeling the pain as though it were our own.
But what I cannot understand, is the repetition. Yes, the story is major news and everyone deserves to treat it the way they see fit. But as a mother of a sweet little boy, I just cannot stomach the constant exposure to such painful news. Being ignorant of the reality is not what I want, but I just can't bring myself to continue to play the scenarios and feel the agony those parents must feel, over and over.
Instead, just as Lori posted, I find myself cherishing every moment of my days with Micah, because I don't want to take anything for granted. I had photos professionally taken of Micah by a friend of mine named Minie, mostly for Christmas cards (that I slacked off on and never got printed - oops). But after the 14th, I found they started migrating to my desk at work by the dozen, and I find myself staring at them off and on all day. I listen to video clips I have of him on my phone just to hear him talk and laugh. Who cares if last week I wished he could just STOP and relax for a moment without talking, because he was exhausting me?
We got him a trampoline that was supposed to be for Christmas, but we broke it out early and he plays in it every day before bedtime. He likes to lay down in it, so we fill it with blankets and pillows and cover the top so it's like a tent. Who cares if it makes a mess I have to fix after he goes to sleep?
Yesterday, a coworker of my mom's sent a bottle of bubble bath and some candy canes to Micah for Christmas. Without even letting him ask, I opened one of the candy canes. When he found out what the bubble bath was for, he wanted to go home and take a bath. So we went home and I ran the space heater in the tiny bathroom, and filled up the tub more than I normally would have, with a an excessive amount of bubbles,and he played in it for an hour while I took pictures of his bubble beards and sweated in the heat. Who cares if the candy canes made him sticky and hyper, and who cares if his little toes and fingers were pruned from being in the water so long?
He stays up a little later, he has more milk and more cartoons, I give him more hugs and kisses and take more pictures. I spend more time remembering the little things and enjoying his constant jabber about volcanos and bowling, he gets a little chocolate and maybe a cookie for breakfast. I tickle him more and tell him I love him a thousand times a day. I worry less about his clothes getting dirty and his socks being clean.
Nowadays, it's all about the memories and the journey, and less about the sweating the little stuff. Nowadays, it's about cherishing the time you have. Even if it comes along with dirt and less sleep.
After I initially heard about the tragedy in Newtown, I had to remove myself from it. I shut off the news, changed channels when it was mentioned, and avoided scrolling through my Facebook feed because the faces of those innocent babies were everywhere. I understand why the world is talking about it - it's a senseless tragedy that every parent can relate to, because we are able to put ourselves in the shoes of those mothers and fathers that are forced to bury their child far too early. It breaks our hearts and we cry along with them, feeling the pain as though it were our own.
But what I cannot understand, is the repetition. Yes, the story is major news and everyone deserves to treat it the way they see fit. But as a mother of a sweet little boy, I just cannot stomach the constant exposure to such painful news. Being ignorant of the reality is not what I want, but I just can't bring myself to continue to play the scenarios and feel the agony those parents must feel, over and over.
Instead, just as Lori posted, I find myself cherishing every moment of my days with Micah, because I don't want to take anything for granted. I had photos professionally taken of Micah by a friend of mine named Minie, mostly for Christmas cards (that I slacked off on and never got printed - oops). But after the 14th, I found they started migrating to my desk at work by the dozen, and I find myself staring at them off and on all day. I listen to video clips I have of him on my phone just to hear him talk and laugh. Who cares if last week I wished he could just STOP and relax for a moment without talking, because he was exhausting me?
We got him a trampoline that was supposed to be for Christmas, but we broke it out early and he plays in it every day before bedtime. He likes to lay down in it, so we fill it with blankets and pillows and cover the top so it's like a tent. Who cares if it makes a mess I have to fix after he goes to sleep?
Yesterday, a coworker of my mom's sent a bottle of bubble bath and some candy canes to Micah for Christmas. Without even letting him ask, I opened one of the candy canes. When he found out what the bubble bath was for, he wanted to go home and take a bath. So we went home and I ran the space heater in the tiny bathroom, and filled up the tub more than I normally would have, with a an excessive amount of bubbles,and he played in it for an hour while I took pictures of his bubble beards and sweated in the heat. Who cares if the candy canes made him sticky and hyper, and who cares if his little toes and fingers were pruned from being in the water so long?
He stays up a little later, he has more milk and more cartoons, I give him more hugs and kisses and take more pictures. I spend more time remembering the little things and enjoying his constant jabber about volcanos and bowling, he gets a little chocolate and maybe a cookie for breakfast. I tickle him more and tell him I love him a thousand times a day. I worry less about his clothes getting dirty and his socks being clean.
Nowadays, it's all about the memories and the journey, and less about the sweating the little stuff. Nowadays, it's about cherishing the time you have. Even if it comes along with dirt and less sleep.
Turkey Day
It's been awhile now, hasn't it? I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Ours was very low-key - we spent the morning lazing around the house, then headed to Antonio's grandparents house for the big feast. The Arizona cousins were in town and it was a full house, two tables full of people. There was also the usual Skype conversation during the meal with Antonio's parents in Ecuador, along with the usual sound problems we have with that, hah. Thank goodness for Skype on the iPhone, we have made good use of it in the last couple years since his parents left to start a new church.
Micah spent a good chunk of his time running around with his cousin Miles, who has always been his buddy no matter how long it's been since they have seen each other. Possibly the best part of being a kid is that no other children are ever strangers - they just become playmates all over again. Miles is a good 5 years or so older than Micah but it's never slowed them down. They chased each other all over the house and Miles introduced Micah to the joys of Fruit Ninja on the iPad. If you've never played it, and don't have a ton of free time, don't download it! It's addictive and a worse time-suck than Pinterest has ever been for me. Micah loves it, though he often starts poking the bombs on purpose. No stress to get a high score for this kid.
The Saturday after Thanksgiving we headed to Antonio's other grandparents house to visit for his aunts birthday. We don't see this side of the family as much as we should, but we always make it a point to see them over holiday weekends. The little house was overflowing like usual, and Micah found a new playmate or two there (though one of them kept pushing him down, and even though my kid is friendly and outgoing, this confused him quite a bit ). They also had a half-grown dog and an 8 week old Pomeranian, which Micah chased all over the house and had a love-hate relationship with. He's never sure what to do with dogs, they kind of freak him out even though he really wants to play with them.
I did get this fantastic photo - it's four generations right here. Antonio's dad holding Micah, Antonio, and his grandpa. Cutest thing ever.
Sunday was a lazy day at home with poor Micah struggling with his allergies all day, parking himself on the couch with a blanket and his chongos (monkeys) instead of running around playing. It's always sad when he feels bad, but this time we visited the doctor because he just could not breath out of his nose at all. There wasn't anything they could do at his pedi, so we picked up some childrens Allegra and got a number for an ENT. Fingers crossed I can get ahold of them today and get him in fast! These allergies have lingered badly for 8 months now.
A nice family weekend in all. What did you do last weekend?
Micah spent a good chunk of his time running around with his cousin Miles, who has always been his buddy no matter how long it's been since they have seen each other. Possibly the best part of being a kid is that no other children are ever strangers - they just become playmates all over again. Miles is a good 5 years or so older than Micah but it's never slowed them down. They chased each other all over the house and Miles introduced Micah to the joys of Fruit Ninja on the iPad. If you've never played it, and don't have a ton of free time, don't download it! It's addictive and a worse time-suck than Pinterest has ever been for me. Micah loves it, though he often starts poking the bombs on purpose. No stress to get a high score for this kid.
The Saturday after Thanksgiving we headed to Antonio's other grandparents house to visit for his aunts birthday. We don't see this side of the family as much as we should, but we always make it a point to see them over holiday weekends. The little house was overflowing like usual, and Micah found a new playmate or two there (though one of them kept pushing him down, and even though my kid is friendly and outgoing, this confused him quite a bit ). They also had a half-grown dog and an 8 week old Pomeranian, which Micah chased all over the house and had a love-hate relationship with. He's never sure what to do with dogs, they kind of freak him out even though he really wants to play with them.
I did get this fantastic photo - it's four generations right here. Antonio's dad holding Micah, Antonio, and his grandpa. Cutest thing ever.
Sunday was a lazy day at home with poor Micah struggling with his allergies all day, parking himself on the couch with a blanket and his chongos (monkeys) instead of running around playing. It's always sad when he feels bad, but this time we visited the doctor because he just could not breath out of his nose at all. There wasn't anything they could do at his pedi, so we picked up some childrens Allegra and got a number for an ENT. Fingers crossed I can get ahold of them today and get him in fast! These allergies have lingered badly for 8 months now.
A nice family weekend in all. What did you do last weekend?
I have no idea what day it is.
This last week has been one of the hardest I have had in a long time. Do you ever have times like that? Where it just seems like every single thing that could go wrong, does, and life seems to just suck the energy out of you? This was definitely one of those weeks.
On Sunday I had a really hard time sleeping, so 4:30AM came WAY too early. Micah was a touch cranky and wouldn't let me take his pajamas off to get dressed, so we went to Lita and Tata's house in our jammies and a jacket.
Tuesday was ok. I stayed up later than I wanted because The River came on and my friend Emmet came over to watch it with me. If you watch the show, you'll know how funny it is that my friend is named Emmet, lol. Micah had a hard time sleeping for some reason and woke me up for milk twice. Then at 3:30am, Antonio came in and told me he was taking himself to the ER because he was short of breath, and had tightness and pain in his chest, with vomiting. No way was I allowing that, so Micah and I got up and got dressed and took him to the ER. Since I had the baby with me we stayed out in the waiting room while they did an xray and EKG on Antonio, then my dad came and got Micah and I was able to stay with my husband. We were there until 8am. Thankfully he's ok now, but needless to say, I missed work.
Wednesday I got up and got Micah dressed to go to my mom's, and right as I opened the car door, he threw up. Covered his jacket and pacifier clip. He got very upset, so I brought him back in the house, cleaned him up, and called in to work yet again because one of my co-workers had a stomach bug as well as her daughter the previous weekend. Micah's was pretty mild, but it was made worse every time he had milk so I stopped letting him have anything but water. He threw up only two more times, but he was very lethargic and spent the whole day on the couch with me. He was still sick the next morning, but my dad kept him so I could go back to work. Now he has really bad congestion and a runny nose so he's a tad clingy, very sensitive and cries about everything, and just wants to laze about all day. Hopefully that will clear up in a day or two.
On top of all this, I had two projects friends of mine commissioned me to sew for them. Neither turned out exactly like I wanted, but they are still cute and they will be getting shipped out in the morning...hopefully. One was a set of toddler bed sheets and one was a set of soft baby boots. The former ended up with too-short elastic, the latter with wonky seams and strange velcro placement. I'm planning another post about the boots, but here's a bad Instagram photo.
I also have a half-finished hoodie I've been working on in bits and pieces for Micah for weeks, and I've reached a point in the pattern where I'm confused, so I'm letting it marinate a bit. Hopefully next weekend I will have a bit of free time.
I'm finding that now that I'm working, I just don't have the time or energy to do much of anything. Tragic, really, since I now have the funds to do them! Maybe when it's summer and the sun is out longer I'll have more drive.
On Sunday I had a really hard time sleeping, so 4:30AM came WAY too early. Micah was a touch cranky and wouldn't let me take his pajamas off to get dressed, so we went to Lita and Tata's house in our jammies and a jacket.
Tuesday was ok. I stayed up later than I wanted because The River came on and my friend Emmet came over to watch it with me. If you watch the show, you'll know how funny it is that my friend is named Emmet, lol. Micah had a hard time sleeping for some reason and woke me up for milk twice. Then at 3:30am, Antonio came in and told me he was taking himself to the ER because he was short of breath, and had tightness and pain in his chest, with vomiting. No way was I allowing that, so Micah and I got up and got dressed and took him to the ER. Since I had the baby with me we stayed out in the waiting room while they did an xray and EKG on Antonio, then my dad came and got Micah and I was able to stay with my husband. We were there until 8am. Thankfully he's ok now, but needless to say, I missed work.
Wednesday I got up and got Micah dressed to go to my mom's, and right as I opened the car door, he threw up. Covered his jacket and pacifier clip. He got very upset, so I brought him back in the house, cleaned him up, and called in to work yet again because one of my co-workers had a stomach bug as well as her daughter the previous weekend. Micah's was pretty mild, but it was made worse every time he had milk so I stopped letting him have anything but water. He threw up only two more times, but he was very lethargic and spent the whole day on the couch with me. He was still sick the next morning, but my dad kept him so I could go back to work. Now he has really bad congestion and a runny nose so he's a tad clingy, very sensitive and cries about everything, and just wants to laze about all day. Hopefully that will clear up in a day or two.
On top of all this, I had two projects friends of mine commissioned me to sew for them. Neither turned out exactly like I wanted, but they are still cute and they will be getting shipped out in the morning...hopefully. One was a set of toddler bed sheets and one was a set of soft baby boots. The former ended up with too-short elastic, the latter with wonky seams and strange velcro placement. I'm planning another post about the boots, but here's a bad Instagram photo.
I also have a half-finished hoodie I've been working on in bits and pieces for Micah for weeks, and I've reached a point in the pattern where I'm confused, so I'm letting it marinate a bit. Hopefully next weekend I will have a bit of free time.
I'm finding that now that I'm working, I just don't have the time or energy to do much of anything. Tragic, really, since I now have the funds to do them! Maybe when it's summer and the sun is out longer I'll have more drive.
Daddy is for flying
So last weekend we took our Christmas photos for this year. A little belated, but very much anticipated. As the photographer, I am always behind the camera so I rarely end up in photos. Thanks to my jobless state (I started my new job Monday - more on that later), my friend Ana offered to take our portrait this year. She is a genuinely kind soul, and she also has a soft spot for Micah - she put his photo on the cover of her quarterly magazine back in spring.
We took the photos at a park near our house, one that is normally beautiful, but thanks to the snow and rain the past week, just looked sort of brown and sad. It didn't deter Ana in the slightest, and she still took some absolutely amazing shots that seriously love.
Can my kid get any cuter? I know I'm biased but seriously...he is adorable. I love my family.
We took the photos at a park near our house, one that is normally beautiful, but thanks to the snow and rain the past week, just looked sort of brown and sad. It didn't deter Ana in the slightest, and she still took some absolutely amazing shots that seriously love.
Can my kid get any cuter? I know I'm biased but seriously...he is adorable. I love my family.
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